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IntroductionCarla Padrón has been playing for weddings for over 10 years as part of a string quartet, other string ensembles, a violin-piano duo, and a violin soloist. She also manages the business side of her husband's solo piano events and his Latin Jazz band. So she has been involved with ceremony as well as reception music. This page was inspired by the many questions of brides, clients, wedding planners, and Knotties. I hope it helps you in planning your music. |
Music Planning Overview
Ceremony Music Planning
Selecting an Instrument / Group (Links to sound samples)
Overall Ceremony Planning Info- from a person who has been to over 200 ceremonies
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Here are the factors in deciding on what kind of music you want.
| Atmosphere | What sort of atmosphere
are you trying to create? What's the vision of your
day? Here are some examples: Ceremony: formal, church, traditional, elegant, casual, semi-formal outdoor Cocktail hour: elegant, casual, sophisticated, relaxed Reception: large party, dancing or not?, meal with background music |
| Space | The size of the space and
number of guests should give you an idea of how much volume you'll
need. This helps you select the right size group, type of
instrument, and whether or not you'll need amplification. For example, a cathedral that seats 800 would be fine for an organ or string quartet, but a solo violin would be lost in that much space. |
| Sound | For your ceremony, what are your favorite types of instruments? Listen to sound samples linked in the Selecting an Instrument/Group table below if you want some help with this. |
| Personal Taste | What genre of music (classic, contemporary, jazz, pop), would you like to hear? Or do you want a mix? |
Still need help figuring out
these factors for your ceremony?
Click the icon for a helpful questionnaire: 
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Before deciding on who will provide your music and selecting pieces, be sure to check with your venue about any music restrictions they might have. Even if the venue seems like they wouldn't have many restrictions, you can't really assume anything. Here are some restrictions I've run across:
Churches that don't allow recorded music.
Churches that only allow religious music. More on this in the Selecting Music section.
Church organ may only be used by the church organist. Could be a problem if the organist is out of town over your wedding date. Do they have an approved list of substitutes?
Venues that have an "approved vendor list" that includes musicians or groups they work with exclusively.
Venues that have a piano, but charge a tuning/rental fee for it's use.
Venues that have a sound system, but will only allow you use it if you book their sound man.
Sound ordinances. Some examples:
A historic house I know of does not allow any amplified music (e.g. bands) to play outdoors because of the proximity to several private residences.
The Georgia Aquarium has to approve the use of a band's equipment in their event rooms because too high a volume can harm the fish.
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Live vs. Recorded Music |
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The use of recorded music is becoming more popular, especially since CD's came on the market. I'm a little biased since I'm a musician, but I believe that live performers create an elegant atmosphere. Also, unless your guests have season tickets to the symphony, I bet they aren't exposed to much live music. However, everyone listens to recorded music at home, on their commute, while shopping, etc.
To be fair, here are some considerations for each:
| Live | Recorded | |
| Sound Quality | Acoustic instruments sound
good just about anywhere and don't typically need amplification.
The overall volume is fairly even throughout the ceremony area.
If there is a lot of ambient noise in the ceremony area (e.g. water fountain), plan on amplifying the musicians as well as your officiant. |
The music will only sound
as good as the sound system it's played on.
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| Timing | Musicians usually have possible repeats and stopping points marked throughout their music and can adjust the processional length as they go. | Even if you burn your own CD, you will need a person to "man" the music. Processionals need to be cued up at the right time and each one can be slowly faded out to adjust the length. DJ's are used to performing this service. |
| Flexibility | Most live musicians are willing to learn one or two new pieces for a client. However, your string quartet might not be able to duplicate a good version of "Purple Haze" :-) | You can have the Boston Symphony play your processional and have a funky contemporary song for your recessional if you want. |
| Atmosphere |
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Recorded music can add some atmosphere, but most people are exposed to recorded music every day, so it doesn't have as much impact as live performers. |
CEREMONY MUSIC PLANNING
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The figures here are approximate and vary from one area to another. However, it should give you a "ballpark" figure of what to budget.
How Much to Budget
The rates listed below are per musician. In other words, a budget for a string quartet (4 musicians) will be higher than for a violin-piano duo (2 musicians). Note that the rates are "ballpark." Some musicians/groups charge more, some less.
Major urban areas or places with a higher cost of living (e.g. New York metro area, California), budget $300 per musician.
Larger cities (e.g. Chicago, Washington DC, Atlanta, Dallas), budget $200 per musician.
Small cities, rural areas, budget $150 per musician.
For Harpist - Add $100 to each of the above.
Keep in mind... You get what you pay for!!
Yes, you can probably find a really cheap string quartet, but they probably aren't quality players (can they play in tune?), have a limited choice of music, and/or have very little wedding experience. At the other end of the spectrum, a high-dollar group with professional musicians from the local philharmonic probably sound fantastic and have tons of wedding experience.Coordinating music during a wedding ceremony can be quite difficult. Even having played for 200 events, I'm constantly learning from my experiences. A group's wedding experience is important!
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So you have an idea of the atmosphere you want and a budget. What instruments should you choose? There are many more combinations of instruments that are listed here, but these are the most typical (and easiest to find) for weddings. Clicking a link in the right column opens the site in a separate window.
| Group / Instrument | Considerations | Links to listen to samples |
| String
Quartet (2 violins, viola, cello)
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String Quartet |
| String
Trio (Typically 2 violins and cello. Other combinations are possible.)  |
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String Trio |
| Flute-Violin-Cello
Trio
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Flute-Violin-Cello |
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Brass
Quintet |
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Brass Quintet |
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Woodwind
Quartet
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Woodwind Quartet |
| Piano Trio
(piano, violin cello)
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Piano Trio |
| Group / Instrument | Considerations | Links to listen to samples |
| Violin-Cello
Duo
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Violin-Cello Duo scroll down 1 screen for samples |
| Violin Duo (2
violins)
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Violin Duo click "Two Violins" at top of page |
| Violin and
Piano
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Violin and Piano |
| Harp and
Flute / Violin
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Harp
and Flute
Harp and Violin RealPlayer samples only |
| Instrument | Considerations | Links to listen to samples |
| Pipe Organ
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Organ scroll down for the samples. |
| Piano
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Classical Piano |
| Harp
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Harp (classical) |
| Violin
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Violin |
| Cello
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Cello |
| Classical
Guitar
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Classical Guitar |
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So you decided on what kind of group you'd like, worked them into your budget, and now you just need to find them. Here are some methods for finding musicians:
1. The internet. You've heard of the various search engines - Google (www.google.com), Dogpile, Yahoo, etc. These days, this is probably the most preferred search method. Include the instrument/group, location and the word wedding. Quotation marks will help narrow the list since it looks for an exact phrase (e.g "string quartet").
Also check out local wedding sites that list vendors for your area. For example, AtlantaBridal.com only lists vendors that are in Atlanta. National sites such as Gigmasters and PartyPop may list musicians well outside your area along with the local ones.
2. Entertainment Company. These companies are "one stop shopping" and can book people for all of your music, lighting, sound, etc. needs in one place. For example, with one call you can book a string quartet for your ceremony, a sound guy to set up microphones for your officiant and vocalist, a jazz pianist for your cocktail hour, and a DJ for your reception.
Does it cost more to book this way? Usually not. Music groups often give a cut of their pay to the entertainment company, but the cost to the client is the same. One advantage to using a company like this is that they coordinate all your needs. So if you have questions or concerns, you only need to make one phone call.
3. Local orchestra / symphony. Within an orchestra, there are usually many chamber groups and soloists in many different combinations. One call to the personnel director, and you can get a handful of contacts. Professional symphony orchestras have fantastic musicians, though they typically are higher on the pay scale. You can also contact a local community (volunteer) orchestra. Many volunteer orchestras have really good musicians, but they don't make music their primary source of income, thus they are further down on the pay scale. If you call an orchestra musician and they aren't available, be sure and ask if they know other musicians who play in the same type of group. One musician knows 20 more, and it's possible to "network" enough to find exactly what you need.
4. University music department. Call and talk to a music professor. They often know professional musicians in the area. Or you can ask for a group of upper-level students.
One caveat with hiring students is that they typically have little or no wedding experience, which can make for some ragged starts and stops or the wrong piece is played at the wrong time. Sometimes they can be hard to get in touch with (busy class schedule, moving between semesters). However, they are usually happy to play whatever you want and work with you in order to gain experience.
5. High school music teachers. Band and orchestra teachers often play for weddings on the weekend to supplement their income. One teacher knows another - if they don't play the instrument you're looking for, they probably know somebody who does. Ask for referrals for other musicians if they aren't available or don't play in the kind of group you need.
6. Venue referrals. Talk to your ceremony / reception venue. Often they have contacts with other wedding vendors, including musicians.
7. Church music director. If you're getting married in a church, talk to the music director. They often have contacts with other musicians for special church events (i.e. Christmas concerts).
8. Music stores. Stores that sell sheet music often have a bulletin board full of business cards from local musicians and groups. Stores that sell instruments often have contacts with musicians who teach lessons at their store or they have developed a list of local musicians that they have heard play. My husband, a pianist, often gets referrals from a local piano store.
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At this point, you've looked up some musicians and plan to contact them. What questions should you ask? What information will they need to know in order to give you an accurate quote? What details will they need once you've booked them?
| What you need to tell them | Questions to ask |
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Be sure to take a look at Answers to frequently asked music questions below. It may answer other questions you might have. |
| What you need to tell them | Questions to ask |
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Be sure to take a look at Answers to frequently asked music questions below. It may answer other questions you might have.
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| Ceremony Part | Description / Details |
| Prelude | About 20 min. of music while guests are being seated. I would leave the choice up to your musicians or
DJ. They can make appropriate selections. If you have a
particular piece you want played during this time, I'm sure they will do
their best to accommodate you. |
| Family Entrance | Seating of grandparents and parents. If there is a unity candle, the mothers light the side candles before sitting down.
For Jewish ceremonies, this portion may be
grandparents only. |
| Attendants' Processional | Officiant, groom, and groomsmen enter from the side (or aisle, if no side entrance) and walk to the front. Bridesmaids, flower girl, ring bearer walk down the aisle.
TIP: For very small weddings with
only one or two attendants and one or two family members to seat, you
can use one piece for the Family Entrance and Attendants' Processional. |
| Bride's Processional | A separate piece to highlight your moment!
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| Lighting of Unity Candle / Sand Ceremony | If you are
lighting a unity candle or doing a sand ceremony, your musicians/DJ can fill in the silence with a short, quiet piece. This is also a good place to put a vocal solo if you're having one. |
Episcopal
/ Catholic mass ceremonies:
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As with the
unity candle, music at these points will fill the silence.
Presentation of Gifts / Offertory - Bread and wine is brought to the altar. A short, quiet piece is good for this. Communion - Music while guests are taking
communion. This is the best place to put a
vocal solo or full-length (3 - 4 min.) piece you really like. |
| Recessional | Wedding party exits.
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| Postlude | One piece played as guests exit. I would leave the selection of this piece up to your musicians/DJ. |
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If you're getting married in a church, be sure to check with the music director at the church to make sure they don't have any restrictions on the music you select. The restrictions vary from church to church, even within the same denomination.
The most typical restriction is that they want only religious and/or classical music. Specifically this means:
No pieces from operas. That includes Wagner's "Bridal Chorus" (a.k.a. "Here comes the bride") which is from opera Lohengrin and Mendelssohn's "Wedding March" (thought of as the traditional recessional) which is from opera A Midsummer Night's Dream.
No pop songs, in general. For example, Shania Twain's "From This Moment" is a popular song for weddings, but not acceptable to churches because the lyrics have no religious connotations.
Pop songs with religious lyrics are acceptable. For example, "The Prayer" sung by Celine Dion and Andrea Bocelli has words that actually are a prayer.
The best way to select music is to meet with your musician, music group leader, or DJ. They'll be glad to help! They know what music they have on hand already and can play pieces for you to help you narrow down your choices. They can also make recommendations based on your particular venue, ceremony type, or personal taste.
A meeting benefits them as well; they have the opportunity to ask questions about the ceremony and get an idea of what music you like. I personally like to meet with clients face to face because it gives me a much better feel for the ceremony and the client's taste.
If you're planning your wedding from a distance or have limited time, meet with the musicians by phone. I've even had lengthy discussions with clients via e-mail, with the help of a website that has sound samples.
If you want to listen to music samples before meeting with your musicians, here are some resources:
On-line:
| WedAlert | Tons of
on-line audio samples, for both ceremony and reception.
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| After Five String Quartet | There are
several pages that have different genres - classical, pop, Celtic, Jewish, and vocal
samples. The "Wedding Music" page has a list of selections
made by over 100 other brides. Click any title to listen to a sample.
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| Amazon | Search on
"Wedding music" and listen to samples off the CD's.
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| Also
visit the Selecting an Instrument / Group
section of this page for instrument-specific samples.
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Off-line: Public libraries have a large CD collection, probably including wedding CD's.
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| Question | Answer |
| What happens if the piece I select is too short / long for the processional it's for? | Live musicians
usually have several stopping points and possible repeats penciled in
their music so that they can adjust the length on the fly.
For recorded music, have your DJ slowly fade out the piece after the last person is in place. |
| I'm not having a unity candle. When should my soloist sing? | Some possible
"time slots" are:
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| My vocalist needs a different key than the original recording. What do I do? |
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| I really want a particular song performed, but can't find sheet music for it anywhere. |
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| I need a particular piece of sheet music really fast! | Check out the links below. All of these companies allow you to purchase on-line then download or print it from your computer. With all of these, you'll have to download a small piece of (free) software to view and print the music. |
| Do my musicians need to attend the rehearsal? | If they have played for a lot of weddings, then no. My group has played over 150 ceremonies. When we arrive the day of the ceremony, we take note of the aisle length and the number of people in each processional. We also talk to the wedding director to work out cues and get any additional details about the processionals. From that alone, we usually have a good idea of where we'll need to stop or repeat our music. |
| My organist is coming to the rehearsal. Do I have to invite her to the rehearsal dinner? | It's a nice gesture if you do, but it's not required unless she's a friend. If she's not somebody you know personally, then chances are that she would decline an invitation anyway. |
| Do I have to invite the musicians to the reception? | No. Most
musicians realize you are probably paying for every person who is
attending the reception and won't wish to add to your
expense.
The only exception would be if you have a close friend performing your music. |
Don't see your
question in this list?
Or do you have a really specific question?
Send Carla an e-mail
OVERALL CEREMONY PLANNING INFO
This section isn't necessarily music-related, but I've been to so many ceremonies that I thought I'd include some observations I've made.
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There are many things to consider when planning an outdoor ceremony. My own ceremony was outdoors as well as over half of the ones I've performed for.
Menu for this section:
Consider the time of year for your selected date. Maybe you visit a pretty outdoor site on a comfortable day in October. However, if you have a July wedding, you and your guests may be boiling from the heat.
Spring and fall tend to have more moderate temperatures but can still be unpredictable. I've seen it snow at the end of March and experienced hot, humid days in October.
Nobody can predict the weather months ahead, but Weather.com has a page where you can enter your date and location. Based on 30 years of historical data, it gives you the averages to show the likelihood of the weather on your date: Wedding Weather Page
The length of the days and angle of the sun is constantly in flux throughout the year. Even a day with moderate temperatures can feel hot and uncomfortable if there is no shade in the ceremony area. And the day and time you visit the area may have shade, but could very well be in the full sun on your wedding day.
The other issue is sunset time and end of civil twilight time (when it becomes completely dark). You may love an outdoor venue but a 7:30 PM ceremony in October or March could be completely dark.
A large tent / canopy (with no "walls") could be the solution if you select a really sunny ceremony site.
This site has the sunrise, sunset, and end of twilight (completely dark) times for your location and date: US Naval Observatory
An indoor backup location is the best option for any kind of inclement weather. Most people worry about rain, but don't consider extreme temperatures (very hot or cold) as well. Many older guests may not be able to tolerate extreme temperatures. Also, some formal wear (strapless dresses in cold, tuxedos in extreme heat) may make you and your wedding party even more uncomfortable. Thus an indoor backup location is best for any kind of extreme weather.
Where to find a backup:
Talk to your reception venue. They may be able to have your ceremony in the reception room you've rented. Tables can be quickly set up after the ceremony is over.
If the venue books more than one wedding per day, I would question them carefully about the backup room they want to put you in. I have seen cases where a couple was promised a ballroom if it rained, but ended up renting out the ballroom for an earlier wedding leaving the couple with no other option than having their ceremony in the rain.
Locate an empty hall of some kind near your ceremony site - church, community center, etc.
A tent may be okay for a light rain, but will not be sufficient protection in a torrential downpour. Many of them develop small holes from being moved, folded, etc. many times. So a mist of rain still comes through the tent roof. Instruments and electronic equipment absolutely cannot be exposed to any amount of water. Also, the noise from thunder and hard rain would make it difficult to hear outdoors anyway.
A tent doesn't have much impact on extreme temperatures.
Make sure there is an outlet reachable by a heavy-duty extension cord (approx. 100 feet) if you plan on using any electronic equipment (e.g. amplification, DJ equipment).
5. Amplify your Officiant, Singer, and/or Readers
It's no fun for guests if the officiant, singer, and readers can only be heard by the first 5 rows. If you're having a really small ceremony (under 50 guests), you can get away without using amplification. But larger ceremonies definitely need it, particularly if there is any ambient noise (e.g. a nearby fountain, near a road, etc.).
Types of amplification
Wireless "tie clip" microphones are nearly invisible. At the very least, make sure your officiant has one. You can also rent 2 more - hide one in your hair and your fiance's lapel. However, the officiant's mic can be moved to the edge of his book to pick up what you are saying. If you decide to get this type of mic, make sure a traditional corded mic is available as a backup. I've been to a couple of ceremonies where the wireless system just wasn't working right and most of the guests couldn't hear anything. If you have a singer and readers, they can all share a regular microphone on a stand.
Microphone and stand: People worry about how this looks, but it really isn't that noticeable. It's more important that a ceremony be heard. A traditional corded microphone is very reliable, less expensive to rent, and usually easier to find. A single microphone can be shared between the officiant and a singer, but it's probably just as easy to set up two microphones.
Where to get amplification
Talk to your venue. Many venues have P.A. available for weddings and other events.
Talk to the band or DJ doing your reception. They may be willing to provide P.A. for the ceremony for a small fee.
Call an entertainment company. These companies have contacts with "sound men" who do nothing except set up and monitor P.A.
Rent / borrow from a church or office. Ask around friends and family and see if they can put you in touch with somebody.
Even a slight breeze can blow out candles. Use hurricanes or votive candles (see below). There are votive cups that have a "peg" on the bottom so they fit into a regular taper candle holder. For a unity candle, use small tapers transfer the flame from one candle to another.
Hurricanes Votive "Peglite" holders 
To order either of these on-line, click on a picture.
Chairs are usually a sufficient way to create an aisle, but some people really want an aisle runner. Rent a white carpet aisle runner from a florist, the venue, or a party rental company. These lay smooth and even and are easy to walk on. You can also purchase this kind of runner if you are unable to find one to rent.
Disposable aisle runners look lumpy laying on the ground or grass, show dark color through the "thin spots" of the runner, and tend to blow around in the breeze even when the ends are anchored. They also can be hard to walk on or cause a tripping hazard. I've observed many problems with this type of runner.
A white carpet aisle runner
Click on the picture to buy one on-line.
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If you have a wedding director, she will help you with this at the rehearsal, but this may give you an idea of how the processionals are structured. Here is the way processionals are typically done. Changes in the music are in bold.
Family Entrance
Groom's grandparents
Bride's grandparents
Groom's parents - If there's a unity candle, the mother lights it before sitting down.
Bride's mother - If there's a unity candle, she lights it before sitting down.
Variations:
Step-parents are seated before the parents.
If parents are divorced, have father seated before mother.
If you want siblings or other relatives to be seated in the same row as the parents, have them sit on the far side of the row before the "Family Entrance" music begins.
For Jewish weddings, this portion of the ceremony may be to seat grandparents only (parents walk in with bride and groom).
Sponsors (which are traditional in some cultures) should be seated before family members to the same piece of music.
Attendants' Processional
Officiant, groom, best man, and groomsmen enter as a group from the side (or down the aisle if there is no side entrance)
Bridesmaids walk down the aisle
Maid of Honor walks down the aisle
Flower girl and ring bearer walk down the aisle. Tip: Have them walk together if they're really young - they'll be less intimidated that way
Variations:
Children may also walk down after the bridesmaids and before the Maid of Honor.
Some couples have the bridesmaids and groomsmen enter together in pairs.
Young children may sit with their parents or in their own row after they reach the end of the aisle.
If an aisle runner is unrolled before the bride walks down, continue the music for the Attendants' Processional while it is unrolled.
Bride's Processional - Separate piece of music to highlight your moment!
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Here's what a typical wedding service looks like (with examples of music pieces and where they would be listed). Your officiant would be the best person to help you with the order of the ceremony, though.
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Descriptions and resources for different "unity" ceremonies
| Unity Candle |
Contrary to popular belief, the unity candle is not tied to any particular religion. Typically, three candles are placed at the front on a table or altar. The two side candles are lit before the beginning of the ceremony by representatives of each family (often the mothers of the bride and groom). The bride and groom each take one of the side candles and together light the middle unity candle. This symbolizes their separate lives and families now being joined together. Couples who have children often have their children participate in the lighting of the unity candle to represent the blending of their families. Click here for more ideas and ceremony text. |
| Sand
Ceremony
Water Ceremony |
For those who
want something different than a unity candle or are doing an outdoor
ceremony (where candles may blow out), the sand ceremony is very
similar. Bride and groom pour two different colors of sand into a
third container.
The water ceremony is basically the same thing, only colored water is used instead of colored sand. Click here for a complete description and text. |
| Rose Ceremony | There are a
couple of versions of this:
Click here for complete description and text. |
| Wine Ceremony | Two colors of
wine are combined into a single glass that the bride and groom share.
Click here for complete description and text. |
| Hand Ceremony | Bride and
groom face each other with palms up. The officiant reads text
about how the hands represent the gifts of their lives to each other.
Click here for complete description and text. |
| Handfasting Ceremony | The unity of
the couple is represented by tying one hand of the bride and groom
together with a cord or sash. This tradition goes back thousands
of years and across many cultures and religions and is where the phrase
"tying the knot" came from.
Note: "Handfasting" can also refer to an entire Pagan wedding ceremony, so a search engine may turn up both kinds of handfasting. This sample ceremony can be used for just about any culture/religion. Just drop the "invoking four directions" section of this particular text. |
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I highly recommend a day-of coordinator to help relieve some stress and take care of those many last-minute details. You can get one just to direct your ceremony (which is really the most critical part to keep coordinated), or work the ceremony, reception, and help you beforehand.
Where to find a Day-of Coordinator
Talk to your venue. Many ceremony venues, especially churches, provide a ceremony director as part of your contract with them. Reception venues often provide coordinators to keep your reception flowing and deal with issues as they arise.
Wedding planning companies often will provide a day-of coordination service. This is less expensive than you might think. Be sure to check references.
Churches are the best place to find an experienced person to direct just the ceremony.
What a Ceremony Director Does
Attends the wedding rehearsal to work out placement of the wedding party, practicing processional and recessional, figuring out ceremony logistics (i.e. when to give the bouquet to your MOH).
A director provided by the church or venue will advise you on the needs of the venue and perhaps remind you of things you haven't thought of.
Distribute checks to your ceremony vendors (florist, musicians, etc.)
Help you beforehand with last minute details and mishaps (forgotten items, clothing repairs)
Help prepare the wedding party for the ceremony and line them up in the proper order.
Cue the musicians for the Family Entrance, Attendants' Processional, and Bride's Processional. This is critical! Most unclear or incorrect cues come from a very inexperienced coordinator or a friend who was simply pressed into service the day of the wedding. The director should also be prepared to give the musicians cut-off cues in case they are unable to see the last person enter for each processional. In particular, flower girls and ring bearers are usually last and so small that they are hard to see. Also, it's sometimes hard to see when the bride reaches the front when all the guests are standing.
The vast experience of a wedding director enables her to deal with all kinds of situations on the fly - late arriving guests, a missed cue, a sobbing flower girl, etc.
What Reception Coordinators Do
Generally, the coordinator follows a timeline and keeps the reception flowing. For example, she'll tell the band to take a break when you're ready for the cake cutting. She'll coordinate with the catering captain to keep the food moving smoothly and at appropriate times. She'll provide the band/DJ with a copy of the timeline so that they know when things are happening.
The key with making a timeline work is keeping it flexible. I know one coordinator who believes that a successful wedding follows the timeline exactly, making her inflexible. Most of the good coordinators I've worked with believe that the happiness of the client is what matters. They're more flexible - "Would you like to cut the cake now or in 10 minutes?"
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I was definitely a "budget bride". I paid for my own wedding and budgeted $5K for everything. With careful planning, I ended up spending only $2500.
General Tips
Determine
which element of the wedding is most important to you. That should be
where you "splurge" a little more. Cut corners or eliminate
the things that are not that important to you.
Since my husband and I are musicians, we spent the most on
music. It was important for us to have that aspect of our lives
reflected during our wedding.
Your guests tend to remember the music and the food most.
It is possible to have a really nice wedding that costs far less than a new car or downpayment on a house.
Do NOT put the burden of services, clean-up, etc. on your family or wedding party (unless they volunteer)! They are honored guests.
Make sure your guests are going to be comfortable. For example, they'll be a lot more comfortable sitting for your ceremony than standing, making chair rental worth the money.
Venues
A venue where you can have both the ceremony and reception will save you a lot in rental.
If the venue allows you to bring in your own food and/or alcohol, that may potentially save you even more.
If you want catering, a venue with in-house catering is generally less than one who exclusively works with 2 or 3 outside caterers.
Food and Drink
Have hors deourves instead of a sit-down meal.
Have a beer and wine bar instead of a full bar that includes liquors.
Purchase deli trays from the grocery store for your hors deourves. Purchase beer and wine at a price club (e.g. Sam's Club).
Go to the dollar store to purchase disposable items such as plates and forks.
Buy disposable napkins and table cloths instead of renting them. There are disposable versions that look like cloth from a short distance.
If you bring
in your own food, hire a small group of students to pick it up, set it up,
serve, and clean up afterward. If you don't know any students, ask
around friends or coworkers who have older children that might like to work
a night.
I actually hired two waitresses from a cafe I went to at
lunch. Paid them $80 each for the night. It was totally worth it and
none of my guests or family had to lift a finger.
Services
Do any of your friends or family have some kind of talent? Cake baking, playing an instrument, sewing, florals, etc. They may be willing to offer their services at a discounted rate, "at cost" rate, or as a gift to you.
Musicians/DJ who can do both your ceremony AND reception (if they are at the same venue) may be less than hiring separate people for each.
If you want live music, go with a solo instrument. You can review a list of solo instruments and click links for samples here.
Chair rental - If you rent chairs in a different color (e.g. gray) instead of white, you can save a lot on the price. I saved half by renting gray ones.
Hire students to do any little odd jobs that you don't want to burden your guests with. For example, if you rent one set of chairs that need to be moved from the ceremony area to the reception area (same venue), a couple of young men would be happy to do that sort of service for some extra spending money.
Purchased items
Shop eBay! Many brides sell off items from their weddings after they are over. You can find great deals on anything from candle holders to wedding dresses.
Shop discount stores - Big Lots, Wal-Mart, thrift stores, etc. You never know what you'll find.
Do It Yourself Projects
Print your own invitations. Office supply stores sell blank invitations.
Print your own programs. Do a simple 8.5 x 11 program folded in half.
Make bouquets from silk flowers.
Make other decorative items you really want (e.g. pew bows)
Eliminate Unnecessary Frills
These are items that your guests will not miss at all if they are absent:
Chair covers
Pew bows
Aisle runner
Wedding favors
Bathroom baskets
Table numbers / assigned tables
Bouquet / garter toss
Send-off toss (rice, birdseed, bubbles, sparklers, ribbon wands). I've seen people simply clap and cheer and it works just as well.
Good luck on your planning!
- Carla
